About

You said you were a troll?

. . . like, from Homestuck?

yes!! or at 7east, 7 was or7g7na77y. 7've had many 7ncarnat7ons over the sweeps.

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Misc Info

1. Attempts to sneeze in sevens
2. Some breed of insomniac
3. Lives in a communal hivestem
4. Code addict
5. Pesterchum is carcinizationSuperiority [CS]
6. Is semi-canonically the weakest link in a friendship love triangle
7. Originally pictured with a ribbon tied around one horn

History

I should probably preface by saying that the birth of Zillia -- known as Siuoll (Sigh-uhl) in this section -- overlapped almost 1:1 with the beginning of my transition. Though I've made a lot of recent changes to Siuoll and our stories overlap in places, we are fundamentally different enough that I see Zillia/Siuoll as more of a beloved recurring character than a true sona. That being said, I don't think that it's possible to make a 1:1 translation of a flesh-and-blood person. Siuoll is a love letter to a point in time. Maybe the real trollsona is the friends we made along the way.

With that out of the way:

Siuoll was originally concieved as a one-off original character. I can't find my first drawing of him, but picture the bust of a scowling troll with eyebags glaring at the viewer. This is Siuoll. He probably would've been immortalized in my gallery as a one-off original character had a friend not asked me, "is this you?".

Having an existing character who:

1. Looked something like how I wanted to look and
2. Read as me

gave me a great excuse to make a Trollsona. After some deliberation, I named him "Siuoll Tehjas" -- Siuoll being an adaptation of "Louis" (the name I used when I was trans), and "Tejas" translating to gold/bright/brilliance in Sanskrit. There. Perfect name for a goldblood. He was a matched set with another troll named Rexxus (represented by the "⚲" neuter symbol), but Rexxus never got a story and was eventually retconned out.

Over time, Siuoll found his way into actual roleplay. His very first story was brief, consisting of him misunderstanding another character and not much else, but he continued to evolve from AU to AU. His second appearence in a story resulted in his moirail ghosting him in order to spend time with another one of my OCs, and his childhood-friend-turned-crush rejecting him. What's a guy to do? Fade out of the main story after becoming a plot device whose only purpose is to contribute to the main character's breakdown, that's what. Wow! Surely this is the beginning of beautiful things.

Siuoll's love life basically consists of him getting repeatedly friendzoned. He's sour about this.

Siuoll ended up becoming some combination of the voice of reason for two extremely irrational characters (x, x), the snark, and my personal punching bag. After a while, he faded out of the (constantly-revamped) story entirely, mainly because I didn't like how he reflected on me.

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. . . So then why did you bring him back?

This is a good question that I still don't have a good answer for. Siuoll was my avatar during a very unstable time of my life, but I still think that he's charming. He's a character I projected my early-teenage brand of nihilism onto. He's a snarky asshole insomniac. He's sort of like a transgender, quasi-emotionally-vulnerable Sollux. He didn't get the girl. I don't know who he is now, but I appreciate what he's done for me as a convergent evolution of Liz.

Who he is or what he did aside, I'm making the executive decision to congradulate him for tirelessly bearing the brunt of the narrative so that aforementioned goofballs could keep goofing.

Ex-Canon

Is it true? Is it not? Who knows! What matters is that it was true at one point.

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Trivia

A list of Siuoll trivia, in no particular order.

• Siuoll was originally a heterosexual male.
• Siuoll's Humanstuck name is "Saul". I'm not sure what that makes Zillia's humanstuck name. Probably "Liz" or "Lia".
• In the fantasy AU, he's human.
• In the zombie apocalypse AU, he's the first to be bitten.
• He was originally classpected as Prince of Doom.

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Personality

This section is hidden on mobile until I can make it display properly. Thanks for your patience!

Ornery	Caustic	Rational
Siuoll served as an outlet character for my circumstantial angst, but he was more or less polite about it.	Siuoll's caustic wit made unsuitable partners shake in their boots. Siuoll is on r/relationshipadvice telling you to dump your boyfriend.	Facts and logic. The little Saul voice in your head that tells you logical things whispers.
Tsundere?	Voice of Reason
Goes without saying, methinks. Secret sap. Heartworming Saul moments <3 *Warming Saul gets heartworms ASMR	He really only seems reasonable when compred to everyone else. This makes him a square and no fun™ (Everyone seemed to like him just fine). His stunning levels of competence ("Why are you dating the monster under your bed??") ("Is that blood???") ("Maybe we should ration. Have you never watched zombie movies?") ("That's one eighth of a sandwich, actually.") -- so on and so forth -- transcended universes and rocked many a campaign.
Emo
Hey, emo boy. Hey, hey, hey, emo boy

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Themes

Unreqiuted Love/Pining	Siuoll's story regarding unrequited love is quite funny to me in hindsight, since his love interest ended up being played by my first partner, who rejected me and then asked me out two years later. Siuoll and his love interest became our phase 1 parallels, existing concurrently with our more recent matched set of OCs (x, x).
Drifting away from friends	Drifting away from my friends was another important theme in my life at the time, and this was reflected onto Siuoll with mild variations. For me, getting out of my friend group was largely a good thing, but for Siuoll, it worked as a source of drama and loneliness that transmuted into independence.
Transition	Siuoll's story is about coming of age, but he was also an outlet for my gender dysphoria. Thus, transition works twofold as a theme.

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Playlist

I just unearthed his playlist. I feel like an archeologist. Apparently I didn't start putting it together until 2022, which astounds me.

Edit: apparently I made him MULTIPLE playlists, however, setting up this part of this page took more work than everything else combined, so thanks for your patience. Maybe I'll put the other ones up some other time if I'm feeling masochistic.

Analysis of Each Song

Now with the Siuoll scale! How Siuoll is this song from 1 to Siuoll (7)? Stay tuned.

[click to expand]

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Song	Vibes or Lyrics?
Nice Docs, Baby! 2/Siuoll	Vibes. I was listening to this song a lot around the time of making this playlist. It's pretty lore inaccurate.
Superposition Siuoll/Siuoll	Lyrics. Why don't we collide the spaces that divide us I want you to want me I really interpreted this song as the desperation of an unrequited first crush.
Lover Is a Day Siuoll/Siuoll	Lyrics. I'll take the bumpy road, it'll probably break my legs As long as I don't show you what's ruining my head
Fuck June 5/Siuoll	Both. I put this song on every OC playlist around this time, but it works best for Amorei and Siuoll. I'm still a little stuck I'm still a little fucked up I thought it'd be the last love That I ever had
Scrawny 2/Siuoll	Not sure! My ex put this song on the playlist. It's not quite right to me, but the vibes very much match Nice Docs, Baby!, so I'd say vibes.
dallas 4/Siuoll	Vibes. From my journal at the time: Electric chills and goosebumps. This song makes me feel like a lightbulb made out of dark matter This was more of a "me" song than a Siuoll song.
saturn suv 6/Siuoll	Lyrics. Look them up if you want. Siuoll was very much a personification of feeling lost and trapped as a teenager in the throes of crisis.
Beachboy 2 4/Siuoll	Lyrics. The lines She said Ayy ayy oh oh I don't even drink, though Such a little princess Sneaking out her window Struck me as fairly relevant at the time. Whenever I was amongst the teenage alcoholic crowd, I was known as the girl who didn't drink. I mostly just sat and babysitted weepy drunks. C'est la vie. This is Siuoll now.
I Dreamt We Spoke Again 3/Siuoll	Lyrics. I would recommend checking them out, they're fairly straightforward. Though this song isn't all that relevant to Siuoll's story, it was a song that reminded me of myself during Siuoll era, so I slapped it onto the playlist.
Renegades 1/Siuoll	Vibes. This was my favorite song in middle school.
Moonlight 1/Siuoll	Vibes. More projection.
New House Siuoll/Siuoll	Lyrics. I really get "optimistic depression" from this song. That, combined with these lines: No distraction, no one's even tryna reach me Well, not until they need something, honestly And the trouble is Everybody needs something all the fuckin' time (Time) Everybody needs something all the fuckin' time Makes New House a certified Siuoll classic. I was not the person people went to when they needed things, but Siuoll certainly was.
Cut My Hair 2/Siuoll	Vibes. By the time I was making this playlist, I had already given myself awful associations with former favorite band, Cavetown. Here we get a compromise: a degree of separation from Cavetown while still acknowledging the profound impact it had on my character during Siuoll era. Something something transgender.
Pretty 5/Siuoll	Lyrics. See: I Dreamt We Spoke Again "song that reminded me of myself" (yes, I know this band has two songs with the same title. Give me a second to pull up the lyrics for this one). You were such an idol Yeah, you were the whole world Now you see you look pretty broken Pretty broken What's more "first infatuation" than putting someone on a pedestal without knowing them at all? I hate the way I feel confused Like I'll always be a part of you As well.
Nevermind 4/Siuoll	Both. This is the song you nod your head to in the car. All I, I ever ask, ever ask Are you gonna, are you gonna be my lover?
Cecily Smith (Bonus Track) 3/Siuoll	Both and neither. I was in my "desperately wanting a deus ex manic pixie dream girl" phase. My ex introduced me to this song and it became pining fodder.
Persephone 2/Siuoll	Lyrics (and beautiful lyricism, at that). If I'd a known I'd mess up this many times Then I'd shut up for the rest of my life
Homecoming Serf ?/Siuoll	Vibes. This one is a complete blank space in my memory (sorry, Sidney Gish).
Kids 2/Siuoll	Vibes! Great vibes, but nothing concrete lyrics-wise.
I Wanna Sweat 6/Siuoll	Lyrics. I’d like to know you better But the fears and social pressure that’s Affecting my affections How can I approach perfection thinking You are foreign language You are not real I know I ought to hide But I only wanna feel "I want to get out of my head and let myself enjoy this person's presence".
all the empathy 6/Siuoll	Lyrics! Points docked because I don't like this song anymore. My eyes they are like cameras They’re filming everything I wish that you could picture How much film they’ve stained I wish I could be honest That I’ve never felt this way And though you’rе right next to me You feel miles away Isn't he the most generic character possible? It's getting hard to write these because I'm just saying the same things over and over again. There's that weird guilt, there's the feeling of being/becoming an outsider to your own life, etc etc. I should've given him wings or something. I was such a boring kid.
Nervous Young Inhumans Siuoll/Siuoll	Lyrics. Not a 1:1, but this song has so many lyrics that worked. To me, this song feels like when you desperately want to know someone quiet, so you just say shit. It's like trying to lure in a skiddish animal. Are the morsels tasty enough? Most people are jokes, but you're so real Most of the time that I use the word "you" Well, you know that I'm mostly singing about you You never lifted your voice You never raised your hands You never showed me your inhuman You understand You never lifted your voice You never raised your hands I only showed you my inhuman You understand These lines are funny to me because around the time of Siuoll's conception, I pretty much exclusively fell for quiet girls who didn't want to get to be friends with someone comparatively outgoing. One time it worked, and the other time it didn't. I felt absolutely feral in comparison to both of them, so you bet I projected that onto Siuoll and his love interest. This song makes me laugh. I talked about both girls like the lines above. The outro is also great. The stream-of-conscience spitballing on morality and life at large sounds almost exactly like my old audio journals, which amuses me to no end.

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Bonus Tracks

Or, what I listened to when I was coding this page.

Gallery